Fanny Johnstone had all but given up on finding love. After growing up on a self-sufficient farm, she had bolted to the big city at 17, diving into a chaotic world of stop-start love affairs, crazy jobs, and an eventual broken engagement at 33. Cynical and scared, Fanny threw herself into her work as a journalist, forgetting about the idea of romance. But little did she know, a simple singles dinner party she hosted for an article would change the trajectory of her life forever.
A Chance Encounter
In a twist of fate, Fanny ended up having to fill the last spot at her own singles dinner party. As she was getting her makeup done, a man walked into the room who took her breath away. According to Fanny, “His presence was beautiful to me. Peace is the operative word. There wasn’t that sense of danger that usually attracted me to someone. It was a door opening to a happier, saner, more loving world.”
The man was Colin, a book publicist Fanny had been emailing with for work. The two had an instant connection, talking and laughing together all night. As Fanny puts it:
The irony, of course, was that no one at the singles party got together except us. In the article I wrote some cheesy line about how “I felt like I was a winner because I met Colin”, but that still holds true 21 years later.
Learning to Recognize Real Love
For Fanny, meeting Colin was a revelation. After so many tumultuous relationships, she had finally learned to recognize the peaceful presence of someone who saw as much good in her as she saw in them. The volatility of her past, followed by a period of soul-searching on her own, had prepared her to be open to a healthier kind of love.
Their connection was natural and easy from the start. Fanny found herself revealing quirky parts of herself, like how she and her mother would talk in the silly voice of a fictional author named Lamorna. Rather than being put off, Colin found it hilarious. Their senses of humor clicked, and they could talk for hours.
Building a Life Together
From that fateful dinner party, a beautiful love story unfolded. Fanny and Colin got married and have now been together for over two decades. Through the inevitable ups and downs, their ability to laugh together and truly see the best in one another has remained the bedrock of their bond.
Looking back, Fanny views the winding path that led her to Colin as crucial for recognizing what she had when she found it. In her words:
Somehow I had finally learned – and was ready – to recognise the peaceful presence of someone who saw as much good in me as I saw in them.
Lessons in Love
Fanny’s story carries potent lessons for anyone on the rollercoaster of trying to find love:
- Embrace your journey. The struggles make you who you need to be to recognize real love when you find it.
- Let go of unhealthy patterns. Fanny stopped chasing the “dangerous” types she was once drawn to and opened herself up to a different kind of connection.
- Don’t force it. Fanny had stopped desperately seeking love when she met Colin. Their connection flowed organically from a place of friendship and laughter.
- Look for peace. Beyond butterflies or drama, look for someone whose presence brings you a deep sense of calm, safety and happiness.
Fanny and Colin’s love story is a reminder that we can’t control when or how we’ll meet our person. But we can control how we learn and grow from each experience, gradually becoming the partner we need to be to attract and build a healthy, joyful love. As Fanny so beautifully puts it, she had finally learned to recognize the “peaceful presence” of her other half, and it changed everything.
