The holidays are a time for togetherness and celebration – but that doesn’t necessarily mean spending them with your biological family. For a growing number of people, the most wonderful time of the year is spent making merry memories with friends instead. Whether due to distance, difficult family dynamics, or simply a desire to do something different, Friend-mas is becoming an increasingly popular alternative to the traditional family-focused holiday.
The Rise of Friend-Focused Festivities
So what’s behind this shift towards holiday friend gatherings? For many, it comes down to practicality. In an era where people frequently move far from their hometowns for work or study, heading back to celebrate with family isn’t always feasible.
My family is scattered all across the country. Getting everyone together in one place is a huge challenge, both logistically and financially. My friend group is my local support system, so spending the holidays with them just makes sense.
– Sarah, 32, grad student
For others, opting to ring in the season with friends is a way to avoid family tensions and stress. Holiday gatherings can surface old wounds and highlight challenging dynamics. Surrounding yourself with your chosen family can make for a more relaxing, drama-free holiday.
There’s so much pressure and expectation around family holidays. It’s refreshing to spend that time with people who truly uplift and energize you. My friends and I keep things low-key and focus on just enjoying quality time together.
– Amir, 28, marketing manager
Creating Your Own Holiday Traditions
One of the most exciting things about Friend-mas is having the freedom to create your own unique traditions and rituals. Without the weight of family expectations, you can shape a holiday that reflects your friend group’s distinct personalities and interests.
- Host a holiday potluck: Have each friend bring a beloved dish to share. You’ll end up with an eclectic, delicious spread that reflects your group’s diversity.
- Organize a Secret Santa gift exchange: Set a budget limit to keep things affordable and focus on thoughtful, creative presents. Make a festive evening out of the big reveal.
- Volunteer together: Spend a morning at a local food bank or animal shelter. Giving back will fill you with the true spirit of the season.
- Have a holiday movie marathon: Vote on a lineup of favorite seasonal flicks, make a batch of hot cocoa, and cozy up for a cinematic celebration.
The key is coming up with rituals that are meaningful to your unique crew. Lean into what brings your friend family together and sparks joy.
My friends and I always do an annual holiday hike and outdoor picnic. Being in nature together and sharing food and laughter has become our sacred tradition. I look forward to it every year!
– Jenna, 41, therapist
Navigating Friend and Family Holidays
For many, the ideal holiday season involves a mix of family and friend festivities. Splitting time between different gatherings takes some juggling, but it is possible to honor all your treasured relationships.
- Communicate plans early: Let both your family and friends know in advance what your holiday schedule looks like so no one is caught off guard.
- Set clear boundaries: Be transparent about your limits and bandwidth. It’s okay to say no to some invitations.
- Create specific traditions with each group: Plan special rituals with both friends and family so each set of celebrations feels unique and intentional.
- Host a combined gathering: If geographically possible, bring both sides together! Host a holiday open house or New Year’s brunch where your family and friend groups can mingle.
Ultimately, there’s no one right way to do the holidays. Embrace the traditions and people that make you feel loved, supported, and joyful. For many, that means making merry with dear friends who have become family.
My friends and I have a little holiday season of our own leading up to Christmas. We have standing dates for gift exchanges, cookie decorating, watching cheesy movies in our PJs…it’s the best. I still see my family on the actual holidays, but this way I get to fully celebrate with my chosen family too.
– Marquis, 36, nurse practitioner
As families evolve and friendship bonds deepen, more and more people are discovering the magic of a Friend-mas holiday. It’s a beautiful way to honor the people you’ve chosen to call family. So go ahead and make some new traditions – ’tis the season!
