The crypto rollercoaster of 2024 was a wild ride, but for eager TV producers looking to cash in on the hype, it turned into a train wreck. As markets yo-yoed between manic bullruns and catastrophic crashes, a wave of crypto-themed TV shows, documentaries and segments hit the airwaves – only to faceplant spectacularly. From reality show cringe to last-minute FUD-mongering, let’s cringe together at the year’s worst offenders.
When FOMO Programming Goes Wrong
First up, we have the classic tale of too much, too late. As crypto mania reached fever pitch in early 2024, TV execs rushed to greenlight any half-baked pitch with “bitcoin” in the title. The result? Wall-to-wall coverage that aged like milk minutes after airing:
- Crypto Cribs (MTV) – Lambo bros flaunted their sHiTcoIn riches in tacky mansions…right before it all went to zero. Big yikes.
- Moon Shot (CNBC) – This investment gameshow urged plebs to ape into altcoins shilled by D-list celebs. Mega-cringe.
- Diamond Hands (Bravo) – Peek into the lives of crypto influencers…as they slowly lose their minds (and clout) hodling through the 2024 meltdown.
Networks that went all-in on glam bull market programming got rekt when crypto went bust. Talk about bad timing.
Clueless Coverage & Sus “Experts”
Then there was the endless parade of talking heads who confidently spewed utter nonsense about how crypto works.
Crypto runs on the power of the blockchain, a computer program that lives in the metaverse and is completely anonymous and untraceable.
– “Crypto Expert”, Debunked (Netflix)
Look, we get it. Crypto is confusing. But media outlets have a responsibility to find legit experts, not smooth-brained fools just winging it on air. Some of the worst offenders:
- Crypto Crooks (Fox Business) – This fearmongering series featured “crypto detectives” with comically bad takes. FUD-tastic.
- Buy the Dip Bro (Comedy Central) – These stand-up bits aged like spoiled milk after every comic’s bags went to zero post-collapse.
- Bitfinessed (Vice) – Brave whistleblowers dished on crypto scams…until their own rug-pulls inevitably surfaced. Oof.
Look, we’re not saying you need to be Satoshi to discuss crypto on TV. But can we all agree to set the bar higher than “I saw a Bitcoin meme once”? Please and thanks.
Rush-Job Documentaries
Of course, no crypto catastrophe is complete without a flood of cheap rush-job “documentaries” to cash in on the headline hype with zero insight.
- Crypto Kingz – This bargain-bin doc chased crypto whales during the bullrun…then had to re-edit the whole thing after they got rekt.
- HODL: The True Believers – Endless man-on-the-street interviews with degens who went broke “stacking sats”. Truly harrowing.
- Bitboned – The post-crash scramble to diagnose what went wrong with basic explainers that were already outdated by airtime.
In the race to capitalize on 2024’s crypto collapse, these docs sacrificed depth and accuracy for speed. What we got was a painful mish-mash of surface-level fluff and stale FUD. Le sigh.
Peak Cringe Moments
Finally, let us commemorate the most skull-shatteringly cringeworthy crypto TV moments of 2024:
- Vitalik’s SNL Cameo – Watching him grimace through tortured crypto skits felt like a hostage video. Dark.
- Elon Tries to Explain Dogecoin – No one knows what he said on Rogan because his brain visibly short-circuited mid-interview. Woof.
- Liz Warren Tech-splains Web3 – We won’t dignify this cringe with detail. Those who know, know.
Sometimes, there are no words. Just the lingering pain of vicarious embarrassment for all involved. Ouch.
Lessons from TV’s Crypto Stumbles
So what can we learn from this tsunami of trash TV? A few key takeaways:
- DYOR on Crypto Coverage – If it sounds too dumb to be true, it probably is. Verify, verify, verify.
- Hype Programming Ages Poorly – TV tailor-made for a bull market will be unwatchable in the ensuing bear. Timeless Schelling points, pls.
- Demand Higher Standards – It’s time to call out lazy exploitative cash-grabs and elevate legit projects. No more smooth-brain sludge.
The crypto TV cringe of 2024 was tough to watch. But pushing through the pain is how we get smarter, stronger, and funnier. Onward!
Will 2025 see a more thoughtful class of crypto coverage? We can dream. But if not – don’t forget to hit record. After all, true comedy gold comes from the cringiest catastrophes. Get rekt, learn, LOL, repeat.
