As Bill Shorten, the former leader of the Australian Labor Party, hangs up his political boots after a remarkable 17 years in parliament, he leaves behind not only a legacy of significant reforms but also a treasure trove of unforgettable one-liners and witty moments that have become etched in the nation’s collective memory.
In his valedictory speech on Thursday, Shorten declared, “I stand here neither defeated nor disposed, lucky to have served, fortunate to be able to say goodbye and thank you.” While his contributions to landmark policies like the National Disability Insurance Scheme will undoubtedly be remembered, it is perhaps his legendary “zingers” that will continue to bring a smile to the faces of Australians for years to come.
The Rap Battle: Shorten vs. 50 Cent
In a moment that will go down in Australian political history, Shorten showcased his rap skills in 2017 when he took on 50 Cent’s “In da Club” on radio. With lines like “I’m Bill Shorten, I’m head of my pack” and “Our economy’s in debt but Malcolm’s just chillin’. Hey Malcolm, can you lend us a coupla million?”, the then-opposition leader proved that he could spit bars with the best of them. And let’s not forget the iconic dab that followed!
The Lettuce Incident
Politicians are often judged by their ability to connect with everyday Australians, and Shorten’s 2016 supermarket tour will forever be remembered for his awkward attempt at small talk. As he perused the produce section of a Queanbeyan Woolworths, Shorten uttered the now-infamous question: “What’s your favourite type of lettuce?” The cringe-worthy moment quickly went viral, cementing Shorten’s reputation as a master of the unscripted gaffe.
Busting a Move in Kiribati
In 2015, during a visit to the Pacific island nation of Kiribati, Shorten threw caution to the wind and hit the dance floor with gusto. While his moves may not have been the most graceful, his enthusiasm was infectious, and the footage of him grooving alongside then-deputy leader Tanya Plibersek quickly made the rounds on social media.
Morrison the… Simp?
Never one to shy away from a zinger, Shorten drew upon his younger staffers’ lexicon in 2020 to describe his political rival, Scott Morrison. In a memorable interview, he advised the then-prime minister not to present as a “simp” to Donald Trump. When pressed to define the term, Shorten simply replied, “soft.”
The Loyal Soldier
Shorten’s loyalty to his party and its leaders was never in question, as evidenced by a 2012 interview during the Gillard government. When asked about then-prime minister Julia Gillard’s comments on the former Speaker Peter Slipper, Shorten candidly admitted, “I don’t know what she said, but I’m sure she’s right.”
“At Least I’m Not a Homophobe”
Known for his quick wit and sharp retorts, Shorten demonstrated his agility when unexpectedly heckled by conservative former senator Cory Bernardi in 2016. As Shorten gave a press conference on an anti-bullying initiative for LGBTQI+ students, Bernardi walked past and called him a “fraud.” Without missing a beat, Shorten fired back, “At least I’m not a homophobe.”
The Sausage Saga
Perhaps the most iconic of Shorten’s gaffes was the infamous “democracy sausage” incident during the 2016 election. In front of a hungry press pack, Shorten committed the cardinal sin of taking a big bite right out of the middle of the sausage, rather than starting at one end like a true Aussie. As he reflected in his valedictory speech, “What I would give to go back to election day 2016 and turn that sausage and bread and eat it a different way.”
As Bill Shorten bids farewell to the political stage, his legacy of important reforms and contributions to Australian society will undoubtedly endure. However, it is the moments of levity, the witty one-liners, and the unforgettable gaffes that will forever be etched in the hearts and minds of the nation. From rap battles to lettuce preferences, from dancing in the Pacific to sausage-eating faux pas, Shorten’s zingers have become an indelible part of Australia’s political folklore.
“You do regret your mistakes, you don’t forget your failures,” Shorten reflected in his final speech. But perhaps it is those very moments of imperfection, those glimpses of humanity, that have endeared him to so many Australians over the years.
As we say goodbye to one of the most memorable characters in recent political history, let us remember not only the serious achievements but also the laughter and the levity that Bill Shorten brought to the often-austere halls of parliament. His wit, his humour, and his unscripted moments will be sorely missed, but they will live on in the annals of Australian political history as a testament to the power of personality in public life.
So here’s to Bill Shorten, the master of the zinger, the king of the one-liner, and the man who made us laugh even as he fought for the issues that mattered most. May his legacy inspire future generations of politicians to embrace their humanity, to speak their truth, and to never be afraid to take a bite out of the democracy sausage, no matter which end they start from.
