In the pageantry-packed world of college football, bowl games are meant to be the ultimate reward – a postseason prize for a successful campaign. But sometimes, when two teams take the field to battle for bowl supremacy, the contrast in their performances is so stark it’s like watching a sledgehammer squash a grape. The result? A lopsided laugher that etches its way into the history books for all the wrong reasons… at least for the team on the business end of the spanking.
Bulldogs Deliver Holiday Beatdowns
The most recent entry into the bowl blowout canon comes courtesy of the Georgia Bulldogs, who apparently channeled the Ghost of Christmas Beatdowns Past during their last two postseason outings. In the 2023 Orange Bowl, Georgia took out their CFP snub frustrations on an overmatched Florida State squad to the tune of a 63-3 pummeling.
Not content with that record-setting romp, the Dawgs went one better (or worse, if you’re a TCU fan) in the 2023 National Championship Game. Georgia scored at will in a 65-7 mauling of TCU that made the Horned Frogs look more like horned larks. The 58-point margin of victory was the largest in the history of college football’s championship contest.
Bayou Bengals Hammer Hapless Boilermakers
LSU got in on the holiday smashing spree with their 63-7 disembowelment of Purdue in the 2023 Citrus Bowl. Led by electric QB Jayden Daniels and shifty RB Josh Williams, the Tigers racked up nearly 600 yards of offense. The exclamation point came on Quad Wilson’s 99-yard pick-six late in the 4th quarter to provide the final margin.
Tulsa, Army Authored Pre-2020 Destructions
Before the Bulldogs’ recent reign of postseason terror, several other squads took their turns wielding the bowl season sledgehammer. In the 2008 GMAC Bowl (now the LendingTree Bowl), Tulsa converted four first-half fumble recoveries into TDs en route to a 63-7 shaming of Bowling Green that probably had the Falcons seriously considering joining the witness protection program.
A decade later in the 2018 Armed Forces Bowl, the Army Black Knights brought an extra dose of firepower in a 70-14 bombardment of Houston. Teams named for cavalry units and heavily armored vehicles should probably be on upset alert when Army’s on the opposing sideline.
Praying Colonels Deliver Gridiron Sermon in 1921
Lest you think bowl game blowouts are a modern phenomenon, we submit the 1921 Fort Worth Classic. Way back in the leather helmet days, Bo McMillin and the Centre College Praying Colonels put a 63-7 hurting on TCU in the precursor to the Armed Forces Bowl.
When the dust settled, Centre had scored 63 points on a previously unbeaten TCU squad, while the Horned Frogs managed just a single TD in garbage time. While passing stats may have been modest in the pre-forward pass days, no one can deny the impressiveness of a 56-point demolition.
“It was a butt-kicking, that’s all you can say. They lined up and kicked our butts. We couldn’t stop them.”
– Urban Meyer after Ohio State’s 31-0 loss to Clemson in the 2016 Fiesta Bowl
When Bowl Busters Become Bowl Busted
The buildup to the 2016 Fiesta Bowl promised a dramatic showdown between high-powered #2 Clemson and #3 Ohio State with the victor headed to the national title game. But Deshaun Watson and the Tigers flipped the script, logging an utterly dominant 31-0 stomping that saw the Buckeyes shut out for the first time under Urban Meyer and the first time, period, since 1993.
Other notable bowl batterings include:
- 1991 Blockbuster Bowl: #6 Alabama 30, #25 Colorado 25
- 1953 Cotton Bowl: #4 Georgia Tech 24, #6 West Virginia 7
- 1940 Rose Bowl: #3 USC 14, #2 Tennessee 0
While the losing teams in these brutal bowl beatdowns may want to burn the game film and bleach it from their brains, the history books aren’t so forgiving. These lopsided scores, from the modern day back to the leather helmet era, stand forever as testaments to the razor thin line between the thrill of bowl glory and the agony of bowl infamy.
Here’s hoping your team is on the fun side of that line the next time bowl season rolls around!
