In a world where the right to die is a fiercely debated topic, the story of Zoë, a young Dutch woman, sheds light on the complex realities behind assisted dying decisions. At just 22 years old, Zoë found herself on the brink of euthanasia, having convinced her family and psychiatrists that her suffering was unbearable. But in a remarkable twist of fate, she chose life at the very last moment.
A Childhood Marred by Trauma
Zoë’s journey to this pivotal moment was shaped by a childhood scarred by severe abuse, which left her grappling with the debilitating effects of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Everyday tasks became triggers, plunging her into a nightmare of flashbacks and overwhelming anxiety. Self-harm and addiction became her coping mechanisms, a desperate attempt to numb the pain.
Despite seeking help, Zoë felt misunderstood and let down by the mental health system. Misdiagnoses and ineffective treatments left her feeling hopeless, convinced that her suffering was insurmountable. At 18, she registered with the Centre of Expertise on Euthanasia, determined to end her life.
The Day That Changed Everything
On June 19, 2023, Zoë was set to die by euthanasia. As the moments ticked down, she found herself in a hospice, surrounded by loved ones and the trappings of her planned death. But in a heart-wrenching scene, as the psychiatrist prepared the lethal injection, Zoë broke down, overwhelmed by fear and doubt. In that instant, she made a life-altering decision: to live.
“Life sucks, but love rules.”
T-shirts worn by Zoë’s support team on her planned euthanasia day
The Long Road to Recovery
Choosing life was just the beginning of Zoë’s arduous journey. Thrust back into a world she had prepared to leave, she grappled with the aftermath of her decision. Psychiatric hospitals became her temporary refuge as she navigated the ups and downs of recovery, learning to confront her traumas head-on.
Intensive therapy, including EMDR and trauma-focused treatments, became Zoë’s lifeline. Slowly but surely, she began to unravel the knots of her past, finding the strength to face her demons. Supported living arrangements offered a stepping stone to independence, a chance to rediscover herself outside the confines of institutions.
Embracing Life, One Day at a Time
Today, Zoë is a testament to the power of resilience and hope. While her journey is far from over, she has learned to embrace life one day at a time. From pursuing her education to finding joy in the simple act of paying rent, Zoë is redefining what it means to live.
“Having been so close to death, I view life as something valuable. I won’t always be well, but I now know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.”
Zoë, reflecting on her journey
Zoë’s story is a powerful reminder that even in our darkest moments, hope can emerge victorious. It challenges us to confront the complexities of mental health and the right to die, while celebrating the indomitable human spirit. As Zoë herself says, “I survived death, so I’ll survive life as well.”
