It’s 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning. While most of the city sleeps, the dance floor at a popular nightclub pulses with sweaty bodies moving to a relentless techno beat. In the middle of it all, 32-year-old Emma loses herself in the music, neon lights flashing across her blissed-out face. For a few precious hours, she’s transported back to her carefree pre-kid days. But in the back of her hazy mind, she knows her night of escapism is on borrowed time.
Fast forward a few hours, and the harsh morning light filters in through a crack in the curtains, rudely dragging Emma back to reality. As if on cue, the bedroom door bursts open and her bubbly 6-year-old bounds in, ready to start the day. Bleary-eyed and head pounding, Emma can barely muster the energy to lift her head off the pillow. Welcome to the weird world of parenting and partying.
The Morning After the Night Before
For the new generation of parents desperate to cling onto their youth and social lives, the glamor of a wild night out is often tarnished by the grim reality of the morning after. Hangovers and young kids are a brutal combination, as Emma knows all too well.
“Have you ever been out till 6am, and then been woken up by a gregarious, energy-filled six-year-old 90 minutes later? No? Well, it’s hell on earth,”
laments Heli Vaterlaws, a frazzled mom from Brighton.
It’s a sentiment echoed by many parents who haven’t quite closed the chapter on their clubbing days. The throbbing headache, desert-dry mouth, and leaden limbs of a nasty hangover are infinitely harder to cope with when you’ve got a small human relying on you for their every need. Forget Netflix binges and duvet days, there’s no respite when you’re in the parenting trenches.
Chasing the Pre-Kid High
So why do they put themselves through this self-inflicted torture? For many, it’s a way to grasp at their former identity, before the all-consuming role of “parent” took over. The heady rush of a night of dancing and drinking offers a temporary portal back to a time of spontaneity and freedom.
In the tedium of domestic life, with days dictated by nap schedules and nursery runs, the lure of the party is a powerful one. Jen Murray, a 40-something mom in Brighton sums it up:
“The author of your article on the decline in nightlife didn’t mention sex and the joys of being on the pull. Less fun in daylight without a drink. I’m old now but, God, I miss all that.”
The sense of “missing out” drives many parents to keep one foot on the dance floor, even as they navigate the challenges of raising small children. It’s a precarious balancing act between holding onto a part of themselves and being physically and mentally present for their offspring.
Can Daytime Raving Offer a Compromise?
Recognizing this conflict, some event organizers are tapping into the beleaguered parent market with a new partying model – the day rave. Shifting the hedonistic hours to a more family-friendly timetable, these events usually run from around 4pm to 10pm, allowing revelers to get their fix of loud music, flashing lights and overpriced drinks, all in time to stumble home for a reasonable bedtime.
It’s a tempting compromise for parents like Emma, offering a taste of the old days without totally derailing the next. But it’s not without its own challenges. Finding childcare for those key hours can be tricky, especially with the chaos of keeping to strict pick-up times when you’ve had a few too many over-priced cocktails. And there’s still the looming specter of a crushing hangover to contend with, day rave or not.
The Pressure to “Have it All”
In an age of carefully curated social media profiles and the pressure to “have it all”, being seen to maintain an enviable social life becomes yet another standard for parents to measure themselves against. The idea that you should be able to raise well-adjusted children, nurture a loving relationship, climb the career ladder AND party like you’re 21 is as pervasive as it is unrealistic.
Those who do manage to keep their hard-partying lifestyle alive often find themselves battling a rising tide of judgment and mom-shaming. The competitive sport of parenting leaves little room for the “selfish” pursuit of personal pleasure. Yet paradoxically, the parents who do hang up their dancing shoes entirely often feel a cloying sense of having lost something vital.
The Elusive Quest for Balance
So is there a way to balance the conflicting demands of parenting and partying? To find some happy medium between the 24-hour raves of your youth and the 24/7 demands of child-rearing? The answer, as with most things parenting-related, is a resounding “it depends”.
What works for one family won’t necessarily translate for another. Some parents find their sweet spot in the odd day rave or night out, carefully planned around willing babysitters and clear calendars. Others gradually age out of the party scene altogether, finding their kicks in the soft-play mosh pit instead.
One thing is clear though – the pressure to maintain the frenetic pace of pre-kid life is a recipe for burnout and bitter recriminations. Ditching the destructive myth of “having it all” in favor of a more fluid, forgiving approach to parenting and pleasure is key. Sometimes that might mean tearing up the dance floor till dawn. Other times it’s collapsing into bed before 9pm with a cup of chamomile.
Ultimately, modern parenting is a delicate dance of its own – learning to sway to the unpredictable rhythms of family life, while still honoring the beat of your own drum. And if that means occasionally swapping the club for the soft-play? Well, there’s no shame in that. Just remember the industrial-strength earplugs. Those ball pits are murder on a hangover.
