The weight of trauma can be a heavy burden to bear, especially for those who dedicate their lives to serving and protecting others. JD Murphy, a former fire brigade commander in London, knows this all too well. In a heartfelt and eye-opening account, Murphy shares his personal struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the devastating impact it had on his health and career.
The Grenfell Tower Tragedy
Murphy’s battle with PTSD began after he was tasked with investigating the tragic Grenfell Tower fire in 2017, which claimed 72 lives. For three and a half years, he immersed himself in the harrowing details of the incident, listening to distress calls and piecing together the final moments of the victims. The emotional toll was immense, but Murphy pushed through, determined to deliver comprehensive reports to the inquiry and provide answers to the bereaved families.
The Tipping Point
Despite receiving accolades for his work, Murphy’s mental health was deteriorating rapidly. He became irritable, withdrawn, and plagued by physical symptoms such as tremors and phantom pains. Yet, he continued to “man up” and ignore the warning signs, even as wildfires raged through London’s suburbs in July 2022, hospitalizing several firefighters.
I became irritable and withdrawn. I started avoiding social situations and jumping at loud noises, sudden touches. Phantom pains plagued my body, and I developed tremors.
JD Murphy, former fire brigade commander
The Breaking Point
It wasn’t until Murphy was diagnosed with four stress-related autoimmune illnesses, in addition to acute PTSD, that he finally realized he needed to step away. The tipping point came when intrusive thoughts about his children being harmed made him realize the extent of his trauma. With the support of his superiors, Murphy made the difficult decision to medically retire from the fire brigade.
Learning to Heal
While the decision to leave was heartbreaking, Murphy recognized that it was necessary for his well-being and his family. He embarked on a journey of healing, focusing on being a better father and allowing himself to be vulnerable. Through counseling and self-reflection, he learned that true strength lies in knowing when to ask for help and prioritize one’s mental health.
Being strong is useful, but the strongest thing you can possibly do is to know when to say: ‘I need to quit. I give up.’
JD Murphy, former fire brigade commander
A Call for Change
Murphy’s story is a poignant reminder of the immense psychological burden that firefighters and other emergency responders carry. It highlights the urgent need for better mental health support and resources within these professions. By sharing his experience, Murphy hopes to break the stigma surrounding mental illness and encourage others to seek help when needed.
The road to recovery is ongoing, but Murphy’s courage in confronting his trauma and sharing his story is an inspiration to us all. It serves as a powerful reminder that even the strongest among us can be vulnerable, and that there is no shame in prioritizing one’s well-being. As a society, we must do better in supporting those who risk their lives to keep us safe, ensuring that they have the resources and support they need to heal from the invisible wounds of their service.
